Connections
by Auditory Eden
Summary: Love is a relative thing. For one person, love may be true and real; for another, an illusion. mild Chihiro/OC, mainly Haku/Chihiro. From POV of the OC. T for character death. Companion to "Not Quite Forever". READ THIS ONE FIRST. Happy Valentine's Day!


Author: Auditory Eden

Rating: T

Warnings: Character death and suicide

Notes: Companion to Not Quite Forever, more or less her husband's story. I don't own it, I don't claim to.

Connections

Homura was very happy with his life. He had a successful job, was living comfortably in an apartment in a good neighborhood, and had a cash cushion upon which to rest in states of emergency. His health was perfect, and the weather better. And he was newly married to a beautiful young woman, the girl of his dreams. _Chihiro_, her very name as sweet as she herself was.

A sweet cloud of her smell, a wonderful scent that reminded him of running water, entered the room. He barely heard her call that she was going out, so entranced was he by the sway of her hips and the gentle, smooth movement of her curves. And he thought hazily, that he was _married_ to that. To that beautiful, sweet, loving girl.

Loving. He couldn't tell, in his deep tenderness, that she never had more than a mild affection for him, romantically. Even when it came to their friendship, there was naught to be seen. But he loved her, and his brain made up little details, filling in the holes, so their kisses felt passionate and sex didn't seem like a one-sided act. He didn't, couldn't, see that she didn't really love him; that although she gave him the closest thing to love she muster up, it wasn't her heart.

He was tired; work had taken a lot from him today. He fell asleep on the couch, the way he often did on Friday nights like these, when Chihiro would come home and curl up with his sleeping form under a blanket until morning.

Homura was still on the couch when his world shattered.

The phone rang, drawing him into consciousness. He picked up.

_"Amamiya-san?" _said the nasal voice on the other end. _"We have Chihiro here at the hospital. Please come quickly."_

He drove as fast as he could. As soon as he pulled into the parking lot, he was off like a shot, into the building.

When the doctor came out of Chihiro's room, Homura could tell something was very wrong indeed.

"Amamiya-san, Chihiro-san is your wife?" he asked. Homura nodded in accordance. The doctor sighed. "I'm so sorry, but Chihiro-san was hit by a car earlier today. A bystander called an ambulance, but...We got her into care, but it seems it was too late. She died. There was nothing we could do."

_Crash, tinkle, tinkle, tinkle. _

The sounds of a heart breaking; one big blow, and all the little pieces hitting the floor.

"When?" he cannot believe his own voice. How is he still talking, breathing?

"Just before you arrived." the doctor pauses. "We did blood-work when she arrived...were you aware that Chihiro-san was pregnant?"

He nods, pretending that he doesn't feeling the shock, the anguish of her _not having told him, _allowing himself to be led to her bedside.

He does paperwork...arranges for the cremation. He does not feel. He sheds a tear of two at all the right moments. But he isn't sad. This is all a joke to him. She is playing an amusing joke, and will walk through the door, smiling happily.

And she is pregnant. He does not know why she didn't tell him. Perhaps she didn't know. He thinks now that she could have been lying.

xXx

About two weeks later, it sinks in. Chihiro has not come back. She will not come back; she is dead. And she took their tiny, weeks old, unborn baby with her. He has nothing and no one to live for. The steel is cold against his wrists, but his resolve falters. So he climbs to the top of the building. It's fitting, he decides. He will die a messy death, just like she did.

He jumps, and it doesn't slow down, his life does not flash before his eyes. He is merely very, very angry and sad and hopeless. And then it's over.

xXx

He wakes up in a field of grass. Grass and sunshine and birds going "cheep". And it kind of sucks because he was hoping that the afterlife would be oblivion. He knows he's dead—there's no way he could have lived after that fall, and wake up in a field. But he still loves Chihiro, but it's better because now he's on the same side as her. There's a hut on the hill, and a path. He follows the path through an old town, with nothing but restaurants. And then there's this huge bathhouse. It's day, but the thing is not running. He hears voices.

_"Hurry up, Chihiro!"_

_ "You're too fast, Haku!"_

Chihiro. But her voice—it was her voice, he could tell—was childish. Younger, more carefree.

Two children burst onto the path. Homura stands on the bridge, they not five feet away. It is the boy, Haku, who notices him.

"Sir, do you need directions?" he is asked politely.

Homura ignores him completely in favor of staring at Chihiro, who is obviously much younger than her real-world twenty-five years. She looks like her twelve-year-old self. "Chihiro," he states. She cocks her head.

"Yes, sir?"

"Chihiro, it's me, Homura!" he is anguished. How could she not remember him?

She looks puzzled. Then her face clears. "Oh. Oh, it's _you_." She smiles apologetically. She turns to Haku, and whispers something in his ear. His face darkens, but she squeezes his hand, a pout on her face, and he walks some ways away down the road.

"Homura," she starts, but he interrupts.

"Chihiro, you died!"

She looks at him strangely. "Yes, I died. Then I came back here. The Spirit World." She spins out, her fingertips grazing the fence. She smiles over her shoulder at him. "Home." she ends.

"Who's the boy?" he asks.

She smiles again. "Haku," she says. "My first and only true love. The somewhat worse half of my soul. The Kohaku River."

He slowly mouths the words _"only true love"_ while she is still faced away.

"You should probably go," Chihiro says. "Before Yubaba catches you here. She doesn't take kindly to live humans..."

"I'm not alive...." This finally catches her attention. She looks him over. "It wasn't your time to die," she says softly. "You killed yourself for me?" He nods. She doesn't smile.

"Then you should really go. Go live the life you took away from yourself." She takes his hands in her own. "You don't get it. I was separated from Haku for a long time, but I didn't remember him. But it was killing me. Our connection quickened my death. It took me back to him. But...I'm not...We, as in you and me, don't have that. I'm not your other half. And me dying was supposed to get you to find her. Or him...It could have gone either way. You weren't supposed to marry me at all. Do you remember how we met?" She smiled fondly.

"You were the young doctor who managed to save me after that horrible accident. It should have killed me. To take me home. But you stopped it. I cheated death on your arm. And then it took me, and you were supposed to get over it and find your true love, soulmate, blah blah blah. Me dying would have made us both happier in the end. But you killed yourself?" She sighed again. And shook her head. "Go, now." she told him, and turned back to Haku. Chihiro ran up to him, and he took her hand, kissing her sweetly on the cheek. Homura stood there, standing dumbly, as she tucked her head into the crook of Haku's neck, her arm wrapping around his torso as they crossed the path back into the bushes. And Chihiro was gone.

Homura started in the opposite direction, towards the hills. He would wander until he was no more. He was not wanted, or needed. He was a surplus, and now, he finally knew it.

xXx

Parting Comments: Ahhhh! This re-do was killing me. Homura, Chi-chan's husband, used to Yoshiko. But Yoshiko is a girl's name. So I had to choose a new one! But know, in my heart, he will always he Yoshiko. ** :*(**

Also, I don't really like how I wrote Homura/Yoshiko's character. It seems to me like he's in something of a drug haze. He 's not supposed to come over as an idiot/stoned. In reality, Amamiya Homura (Yoshiko), is a bright man, an ER surgeon, who is very clever and quick-thinking. But he came over as what can only be described as a stoner. This is because he is sad/tired/blinded by love for Chi-can the whole story, and never in his element. (R.I.P Yoshiko)

Hugs and Kisses

Eden


End file.
